Your intrepid correspondent waded through the dangerous swamps at the Jones Soda World Headquarters in search of the odd and the arty. Here’s what he found:
OBJECT: Animatronic Flashlights
These funky flashlights came in handy for Jones’ Earth Day Event (see it at http://www.jonessoda.com/files/earth-day.php). They moo, roar, whinny and cluck when activated, turning every inconvenient power outage into a barnyard extravaganza!
Cute Nodding Cats...Hannah
OBJECT: Cute Nodding Cats
This triumvirate of nodding felines is supposed to be lucky, but Hannah tells your correspondent that, late at night, when Hannah is trying to finish her month-end reports, they tell her things. True, terrible things. She’s tried throwing them away—once she even threw them off the Bremerton ferry into the deepest part of the Sound—but they turn up back on her desk the next day like nothing’s happened.
Puffin d'art...the Operations Department
OBJECT: Puffin d’art
OWNER: the Operations Department
One of our vendors sends us a hand-carved bird every year. The puffin is a favorite. He turns up in the strangest places.
PUFFIN VS. DINO SMACKDOWN! TWO ENTER ONE LEAVES!
Tacos de los Muertos Taco Truck...Cory
OBJECT: Tacos de los Muertos Taco Truck
Embodying our love for taco truck in papercraft form!
Steve’s quite the Origami master, and he doesn’t mind sharing.
Paper Bag Guy...the Operations Department
OBJECT: Paper Bag Guy
OWNER: the Operations Department
The real brains behind Ops.
This being a soda company, though, mostly we decorate with bottles.
More Bottles...Pretty Near Everybody
OBJECT: More Bottles
OWNER: Pretty near everybody
More bottles, including our infamous 2006 Turkey and Gravy Soda.
Bottles a la Warhol...Your Humble Jones Photojournalist
OBJECT: Bottles a la Warhol
OWNER: Your Humble Jones Photojournalist
Who’s that handsome devil?
Thanks for joining us on our tour! Watch this space for more updates!
From Jones collector, historian and former employee Jason Hockney:
Who can forget FUN?
Jones Soda has had many, many… MANY flavors over the 13 or so years we’ve been around. We thought it’d be really fun to go through and show our adoring fans some of the rarest of the rare bottles, flavors and ideas that we’ve come up with throughout the years.
Our friend Pineapple Upside Down Soda
Old School Jones Juice...Fu Cran Fu
Also, it might be fun to let you folks in on a few inside secrets you might find on our bottles, both old and new. So without any further adieu, here are just a few random facts about Jones Soda Flavors, labels, people and bottles.
Sugar Free Ginger Ale...yum
- Jones’ first American address listed on the back of a Jones Soda Bottle was 4550 Birch Bay Rd, in Blaine, WA. There was never a Jones office in or near the town of Blaine, WA… but rather this was a PO Box that was close to the border of Canada. When Jones needed to collect bills from their American Distributing partners, they would have to cross the border and collect their mail and bring it back to the old warehouse/HQ in Vancouver, BC.
- On the back of a Jones Soda Bottle, the labels changed from saying “Urban Juice and Soda Co” to Jones Soda Co. in 1999. In 2006, the front of the labels changed wording from “Jones Soda Co.” to “Jones Pure Cane Soda.”
- When Jones Soda first began, there was only one contributing photographer, Victor John Penner, from Vancouver, BC. All of the “Original Six” flavors featured his photos. The idea to include submitted fans’ photographs wasn’t a fully realized production possibility until after the first run of Jones had begun.
- By last count, Jones Soda has released a total of over 150 Different flavors of product across 11 Different Brand platforms.
Jones Natural Soda
Jones Sugar Free (AKA Slims, AKA Zilch)
Jones Waters (AKA WAZU Water)
Whoopass Energy Drink
If you care enough, We want to know if you would like to see a blog dedicated SOLELY TO OLD, DISCARDED, “RETIRED” Flavors of Jones.. Any interest? You may even win some!
The second annual Grill Games took off this Wednesday at Jones Soda and spatulas were flying. Last year Eric, our operations wizard, won using trick machinery by smoking his pork in Battle Ribs, this year Battle Burger got underway and the kitchen (Webber grills on our roof) was heating up! But this would be no ordinary burger cook-off, the secret ingredient in every burger was Jones Soda! So who’s cuisine would reign supreme, well to decide that we invited a smattering of local celebrity judges:
Captain Sig Hansen: Discovery Channel’s Deadliest Catch Captain of the Northwest and Local BA
Erik “The Red” Denmark: Competitive eater and 8th place finisher in the annual Coney Island Nathan’s Hot Dog eating championship with 38 dogs in 10 minutes
Mark Wright: KCPQ 13 Fox TV Anchor
Brian Canlis: Co-Owner of Nationally Revered Canlis Restaurant in Seattle, WA
Luke and Jen: Host and Producer for 97.3 Kiro Radio’s show TBTL
Alexa: Jones STP Cycling Coach/Michael Jackson DJ
As our esteemed panel of Judges began to settle the Jones chefs got right to it and let me tell you the heat was on in Jones Chef Stadium. The roof of Jones is metallic silver so on a normal 80 degree such as Wednesday, it’s about 95 degrees while you’re leaning over a hot grill trying to create burger perfection. Nonetheless the battle for best burger was at stake and each chef was gunning for a year’s worth of bragging rights with a Grill Games Crown. Like clockwork burgers starting flooding towards the judges panel, spicy, cheesy, bacon-y, greasy, salty, onion-y, and peppery patties found there way one after another in front of our judges placed atop fresh baked ciabatta, brioche, and whatever else anyone could create. As the bevy of burgers continued to flood in the judges started to sit further back in their seat, loosening their belt loops, aside from Erik “The Red” Denmark who had worn elastic and finished every burger, side, and the majority of Captain Sig’s dinner as well. Slowly as stomachs settled and we provided several guest judges with Jones Antacid Flavor soda the grill smoke had cleared and our panel had made it’s decisions. The 2009 champion of the second annual Grill Games went to team Milberglar! Although fellow Jonesers wanted an appeal when they learned his secret ingredient used was Jones Soda water. Alas a victor was named and a crowd of Seattlites were fed glorious burgers until they hurt. Thanks again to Captain Sig, who endured numerous pirate comments and Discovery Channel-esque real time narrating as he ate his burgers, “A now let’s go to the Captain of the Northwestern, he looks sullen and full…will he be able to finish this last burger?!”. Thanks to Mr. Red who is going to come back and break the World Record for most 12 oz beverages consumed in 5 minutes! Thanks to Jen and Luke from 97.3 for rocking out with us, thanks to Brian Canlis who brought his culinary refined pallet to an event with a bunch of amateur chefs and made us feel special. Thanks to Mark Wright for swinging by and not only judging but covering the event, and lastly thanks to Alexa for training us for the STP only so we could eat a ton of burgers weeks later and get fat again!
In 1776 some BA dudes in wigs got together for the release party of the Declaration of Independence. Fast Forward to today and there’s still buzz about the declaration! Sit on that JK Rowling! So how should we celebrate? A series of controlled explosions, over-eating, leave work early two days prior to a holiday because you can, make sure to apply NO sunscreen so you can be that guy on Monday, wear red white and blue pants, listen to Lee Greenwood sing “God Bless the USA”, well if you have done at least one if not a combination of these things we at Jones salute you! Summer time is about the great outdoors, slip n’ slides, sneaking out, continually playing little league baseball against your own will, or forgetting everything you learned in school the year prior. So this 4th, in typical American fashion, try to do it all at once. Maybe that means sneaking out of your little league game on a slip n’ slide into The Great Outdoors. Or, maybe it means just taking it easy for a weekend, or maybe you should stop reading things at your computer and freaking leave!!! Either way, have a sweet ass 4th and if you’re looking for a tasty and mysterious summer flavored concoction grab some Jones Jumble on your way out.
Preston Pollard has been riding for the Jones Flo team fro about 2 years now. From the fridgid mountains of Alaska, Preston learned to Skate despite sub-zero temperatures during days without sunrise. Preston left board-sliding frozen park benches for the sunny streets of Hollywood! He now get’s his skating in 365 and enjoysg the lavish life of being on MTV shows like Parental Control, radio interviews, and interviewing up-and-comers like i-carly’s Drake Kemper. Preston is no stranger to talking, believe me, so he continues to meet people and rep Jones and himself in LA. Through all of Preston’s success though he remains humble and thankful for what he has been given. He preaches this same message to students at schools around the country. He tells kids to follow their dreams but remain grateful for everything they’ve been given. He’s sort of like a young Alaskan Tony Rabbins, with a little less of a Lurch from Adams Family thing going on.
He is one of three recent Jones Flo Riders to have his own bottle run along with skateboarders Sky Siljeg and Mitchie Brusco. He’s having a bottle release party in a couple weeks back home in Alaska. Now 20 years old, he is still kick-flipping, just over palm trees instead of igloos (kidding of course) and repping Jones! Keep an eye out for this LA resident BA because it’s only a matter of time before he blows it up and makes it big. In the words of Prestone “AK Stand Up!” In the words of Jones, create some change and run with the little guy. And finally in the words of Howard Dean…Yeaaaaaah!!!
Most offices don’t allow pets, or sometimes there’s one lame office pet like a parakeet or box turtle (I apologize to all parakeet & box turtle enthusiasts), but then again Jones Soda Co. is not most offices. I guess I’ve already built this up to be something a little too crazy, it’s not like we have pterodactyls and Luck Dragons in here, but we do have a plethora of sweet dogs. Don’t believe me? Well introducing our Dogs of all Seasons calender! All photos are tasteful and non-airbrushed.
Actually a prodigy of his era, Einstein was far advanced from his peers at the tender age of one (dog years) was inducted into Dogsa, an off-chute of Mensa for canines of extraordinary intelligence. You can see from the far off look in his eyes he is contemplating deep questions of life, death, and the red ball in my hand as I take the picture. He’s a visionary and a scholar and a member of the Jones team.
Fact: Einstein is the only dog to ever be on a Jones vending machine.
Gracie & Litchie
These two…dogs are a package deal, Gracie (the dark one) lives a bit more of a crazy life, wild hair, wild parties, and I think the leopard print sheets speak for herself. Litchie is the ying to Gracie’s yang. The more responsible of the two, this sister looks out for the fam, bearing their family crest on their neck they terrorize the Ops office upstairs keeping intruders out.
Haley is a pooch on a mission, she don’t mess around. Normally rocking a Jones bandanna, sticking her head out the side of her convertible, or taking Emmas, her close friend and roommate, for a walk. She enjoys food, boats, food, and fun. What a Gal!
Don’t let the soft sprinkled pedals and chic tub fool you, this is one hardened Mountain Dog! The youngest of the resident dogs, what he lacks in overall worldly knowledge he makes up in mountain instinct and stone cold looks. Look for him to blossom into a strapping young canine and an office lady killer.
Don’t let this picture fool you, this is definitely the smallest dog at Jones Soda, weighing in at a whopping 4lbs Mr. Mung is the smallest member of the canine club. Most likely some Jones employees will not know of Mr. Mung existence until this blog due to his small stature and ability to hide in the clothes of his good friend Hannah.
Clearly the inspiration for Tennessee Williams Character from “A Street Car Named Desire” Stella, she has also spawned a great sketch comedy show that most people think was influenced by “The State,” which is ridiculous. Another relative baby in the dog world, she is learning quickly and is the first dog you see every morning at the reception desk.
Don’t let this picture fool you either, this is the bow of a Princess Royale cruise boat, this is the biggest golden retriever in the history of retrievers. Tucker, better known as Clifford the big red dog, some how crams himself into the smallest office in the building. Known most prevalently for his slow motion 360s and bucking bronco dance move, he is the only dog we have that might have some luck dragon blood in him.
There are still some dogs at large in this calender so we end in July. To make up for this injustice I leave you with this.
Jones is gearing up for the Seattle to Portland this year and have been riding to work and on weekends to get themselves in prime Lance condition. Sometimes it’s hard to convince people to ride 25 miles, so in order to do so you must create incentives. This is much how the sales business works, create an incentive and your team will produce. This tactic is widely used throughout the business community, although typically a cash incentive is the customary, but since when has Jones been customary. Our loyal Jones Soldiers cruised all the way from Jones HQ to Red hook for the incentive of beautiful, frothy, IPAs, Amber, Blondes, ESBs, and Porters…in moderation of course.
From Legal, to Ops. to whatever Emily does we can all come together!
As seen below, the kind peeps at Red hook treat us well. Mark won the Brat eating contest with 7, second place was Amanda with 1. Needless to say, the day was full of laughs, crashes were kept to a mimimum (Judy), and everyone got 50 miles closer to tackling the STP! So when you see the Jones Team mobbing to Portland with a big ‘Ol RV behind them picking up stragglers and feeding them Jones Gaba and 24c, shout us out and we’ll throw you some Jones product too! Later Friends, we’ll see you on the streets!
Check out Rob's racing shirt accompanied w/ some B-Ham Guns...oooh