Billionaire Consumer Report

March 3rd, 2009 by | Filed under Uncategorized.

You are driving a mythological creature. An eccentric billionaires must have!

Item 2: 1985 Delorean w/ Flux Capacitor

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Visual Appeal: 4 Eggs 4eggs
The Delorean, fully equipped with a manually built Flux Capacitor, is the dream car for anyone with a regrettable past, present, OR future. Its sleek, stainless steel design has been winning over men and women alike for the past 150 years, with its 1.21 gigiwatts of raw, time-traveling power. Just thinking about the joy one would feel from this mid-80’s ride brings the “Power of Love” to anyone’s heart. Plus the addition of the old-school tape player/radio combo pre-tuned to the likes of Van Halen and Huey Lewis and the News gives any driver that feeling that neon, flat-tops and Nike Air Pumps are just around the corner.

Performance: 5 Eggs
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It’s aerodynamic build and time-traveling functions make for the ideal pleasure cruise. The Delorean reaches a rapid 88-mph with ease, allowing for one to take a leisurely stroll anywhere, from events in one’s own life to the great events in human history, such as Game 5 of the 1995 ALDS as Griffey slid into home plate for the victory, or to witness the first Hot Pocket ever made.

Safety: 1 Egg faberge-egg1

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True, the Delorean is an exciting vehicle, but one that can include much danger. Some drivers have complained about the unknown arrivals in random destinations coming from out of time-travel. Complaints have ranged anywhere from Old Man Peabody’s pine tree farm to charging Native American tribes on the hunt. The Delorean also attracts chase scenes from angry Libyan terrorist groups and high school gangs including members who will call you “butthead,” where 3-D glasses, and Billy Zane. Also, on the original models, handling nuclear products can be a tricky task if unprepared, and on the newer models, one can never be too careful with stinky garbage. Finally, irreparable damage can be done if one disrupts the space-time continuum (namely ruining your entire photo collection).

X-Factor: 5 Eggs 5egg3
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Ultimately, one will get what they pay for, and let’s face it people, this car TRAVELS IN TIME!!! Michael J. Fox has NEVER been cooler than when he drove this car (except maybe while doing multiple back flips on the Wolfmobile), and it comes with a never-ending supply of combustible license plates! Oh yeah, and did I mention Huey Lewis and the News?

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